It is very strange, EDS Mama. When I was in the midst of all the times in and out of hospitals and doctor appointment after doctor appointment, I was tired of it all. I did not want to continue on that path. I really actually hated everything about my life. Eventually, God gave me peace and a boldness (after many years) to share Him with those He sent me to on my daily journey and I grew to enjoy the excitement of seeing God work even in difficult places. Now we are in the place of managing a chronic illness and with a diagnosis now, we are not finding ourselves in the constant hospital setting.
The thing I am struggling with now though is that I actually miss those times. I find myself in a different (somewhat boring) place. I’ve come through the fire and God has taught me so much and I feel like I am still waiting for Him to show me what He wants me to do with it all. But I am realizing it is His plan and His work and I have to wait on Him! I am trying to be faithful with where I feel He leads me, but I do not think I have seen the entire picture of everything He has planned.
If you find yourself in the midst of all the doctor appointments, physical therapy, financial woes, and hospital visits and procedures, I challenge you to soak up those times and look for God at work. Do not leave that time of your life without seeing God work in this very unique place He has you. You have been given a special mission. Before you know it, you, too, may find yourself coming out of the fire and wondering what to do with your life. Strangely enough, you might miss those times like I do. For me, I’m spending some time sitting at the feet of Jesus, waiting for Him to show me what He has planned, what He wants me to do next. I’m praying for peace and contentment in the day to day, but I want to see Jesus work in BIG ways still! He won’t disappoint, that I am sure. But He is still doing a work in my heart, teaching me things I do not know yet. Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call unto me and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things thou knowest not.”